Quarantine, Week 6 | Are you a hugger?
I like hugs. No, I LOVE hugs. I'm 100% classified as a hugger. I greet my family and friends with a big squeeze and leave them with one too. To me, there is something so comforting in a hug. If I'm sad, a hug helps. If I'm happy, a hug helps. If I'm scared, a hug helps. If I'm frustrated, a hug helps. You get it hugs make me feel better. Stay at home orders, and quarantine are tough for us hugging folks, especially when not everyone in your house is a hugger.
As a baby, Harper was never a big snuggler. So 8-years later, I should not be surprised or offended when she sometimes rejects my open arms for a squeeze. It used to hurt my feelings, more than I'd like to admit. As she continues to grow into this pretty awesome young lady, I'm catching on to her comforting styles, and unfortunately for me, it's not hugs.
When she's upset, she doesn't want a hug. She wants to be alone. If she's frustrated, hugs make her more annoyed. When she's sad, she wants to jump into her bed under the covers, not have her Mom's arms wrapped around her. Those moments are HARD for me, but I'm doing my best to let her be. To let her feel, the way she needs to feel, and not jump to the actions that make me feel better.
Over the last week, we've had some rough days. There has been a lot of sass (like a lot), and little patience. Many tears, and laughs too. But rather than attack her with the torturous Mom hug, I've given her time alone. Once she feels like it, we talk. Calm, honest talks. We ask questions, how we can help one another, what we can each do differently to make these moments easier for us both. It seems to be helping.
I've also noticed in place of hugs, she writes a lot of notes and draws pictures. She'll leave them outside our doors or on our pillows. Those little scraps of paper bring me immense joy, just like a giant hug would.
Opposite of his sister, Emmett shares the same passion for hugs. We've been leaning on each other a lot these last 6 weeks to fill our hugging needs. He struggles when Harper doesn't want a hug, but I'm sharing my knowledge with him. He has started writing her notes and drawing pictures instead, and in the end, they are both smiling. Today, she even let him sneak a hug.
For now, we'll keep communicating and finding things that work for us all. And maybe I'll continue to sneak in and give her a baby squeeze while she sleeps. 😉
So, what about you - are you a hugger? How about your kiddos? Do you have any tricks to share?
I hope you're doing well, and I'm sending you one big virtual hug.
The Helleen's
As a baby, Harper was never a big snuggler. So 8-years later, I should not be surprised or offended when she sometimes rejects my open arms for a squeeze. It used to hurt my feelings, more than I'd like to admit. As she continues to grow into this pretty awesome young lady, I'm catching on to her comforting styles, and unfortunately for me, it's not hugs.
When she's upset, she doesn't want a hug. She wants to be alone. If she's frustrated, hugs make her more annoyed. When she's sad, she wants to jump into her bed under the covers, not have her Mom's arms wrapped around her. Those moments are HARD for me, but I'm doing my best to let her be. To let her feel, the way she needs to feel, and not jump to the actions that make me feel better.
Over the last week, we've had some rough days. There has been a lot of sass (like a lot), and little patience. Many tears, and laughs too. But rather than attack her with the torturous Mom hug, I've given her time alone. Once she feels like it, we talk. Calm, honest talks. We ask questions, how we can help one another, what we can each do differently to make these moments easier for us both. It seems to be helping.
I've also noticed in place of hugs, she writes a lot of notes and draws pictures. She'll leave them outside our doors or on our pillows. Those little scraps of paper bring me immense joy, just like a giant hug would.
Opposite of his sister, Emmett shares the same passion for hugs. We've been leaning on each other a lot these last 6 weeks to fill our hugging needs. He struggles when Harper doesn't want a hug, but I'm sharing my knowledge with him. He has started writing her notes and drawing pictures instead, and in the end, they are both smiling. Today, she even let him sneak a hug.
For now, we'll keep communicating and finding things that work for us all. And maybe I'll continue to sneak in and give her a baby squeeze while she sleeps. 😉
So, what about you - are you a hugger? How about your kiddos? Do you have any tricks to share?
I hope you're doing well, and I'm sending you one big virtual hug.
The Helleen's
Comments
Post a Comment