Decisions, Decisions
I hate making decisions.
I'm pretty sure no one has ever used the word "decisive" to describe me, likely the exact opposite. Love it or hate it, indecisiveness is one of my key characteristics. I refuse to make the final decision in most situations and it drives my husband insane. Truly, just the thought gives me nervous, sweaty palms.
Parenthood is all about making decisions. I mean, the decision making starts right away - when do you want to start trying to have a family? I'm guessing my response to that serious, life-changing conversation was something like, "Oh, I don't care. What are you thinking?"
Throughout my pregnancy with Harper, I was easily overwhelmed with making any decision. The only choice that was a no-brainer for me was finding out the gender. Do you really think I could go 40+ weeks with a tiny human growing inside me without knowing if it was a boy or a girl? The answer is no, I couldn't. When it came to mundane choices, that's where my indecisiveness really shined. Which bottles should I choose? What color should we paint the nursery? What crib would be best? Video monitors or and old-school style? You get the idea. I struggled with all these decisions. The first night we registered at Babies R' Us I left in tears, and nearly nothing on our registry. I just couldn't handle it.
Lets talk the biggest decision of all - the NAME! This felt like the ultimate decision. Choosing a name not only we loved, but a name that would hopefully bring little to no ridicule to their future. This felt like a big, gosh-darn deal. Surprisingly, with both Harper and Emmett this "name game" wasn't too stressful. For each of our pregnancies the name list was short and the process was tear free. (Surprising, I know!) We'd rank our favorites and as soon as we both agreed - badabing, we had our baby name.
Since I've become a Mother, I like to think my decision making has improved. Sure, I still have the occasional meltdown. We all do, right? But for the last couple years I've had this one GIANT decision stewing. Do we send Emmett to Kindergarten as a fresh 5 year old (his birthday is literally days before school starts) or wait another year and send him when he's 6?
We made the conscious decision to send him to preschool last year, just weeks after turning 3. On the first day of school, my brave, sweet 3 year old marched right into the classroom without hesitation. I, on the other hand found myself scanning the other kiddos noticing how much older they seemed than my lil' E. I left preschool drop-off with a pit in my stomach. Was this a good decision? Should he be here? He's so little and clearly the youngest in the class - will he be okay?
I sat at home doubting his readiness for preschool. In a semi-panic state (that I had mustered up myself) I emailed the teachers who we had come to know well when Harper attended school there, asking for their assurance that he was indeed in the right place. I received a sweet reply back, politely telling me that he was a typical 3-year old, was doing great and if there were ever concerns they'd be sure to address it with us.
Within the first month of preschool, we noticed radical changes. He was more social with other kids, his listening skills had drastically improved, he actually had an attention span and was engaging more in conversations - that is, when his big sister actually let him get a word in. As the year went on, he continued to impress us which actually made me question the whole kindergarten thing again, maybe he should go?
I've toggled back and forth with this whole idea more times than I'd like to admit. I've spent what I know is too much time and energy worrying about it, but hey - that's just what I do. It's a conversation I've purposely avoided with other parents, only because their advice seems to confuse me more. It's one of those topics that other parents have strong opinions about. We've heard both sides, "Oh, you have to hold him back." or "Send him, he'll be fine. We did and they did great!"
This Fall Emmett started Pre-K and is doing awesome. Three days a week I can't wait to get home from work to hear his school stories. What he learned, who he played with, what he had for snack and what sort of crafty project he stuffed in his backpack.
I have a tradition of picking up the kiddos after their first day of school, and while E and I gathered his belongings from his cubby - one of his incredible teachers said me, "He's so bright, and has such a great memory!" We sat and chatted for a few minutes and I brought up the decision that has lingered in my mind for the last year... send him next year, or don't? She gave me a sweet smile and asked if I wanted her honest opinion - which I, of course did! She prefaced her response by saying, "Ultimately the decision is up to you and Mitch, you know Emmett best." But what she said next really resonated with me, "I'd wait, and here's why. Think about when he's graduating high school, and you're sending him off to college. You'd be moving him into his dorm when he was still 17. The truth is, if you sent him next year - he'd do great in Kindergarten, but I always tell parents to think long term."
Mitch and I have discussed this topic at length and in my gut of guts I knew we would wait to send him. Those eloquent words his kind, honest, caring teacher said to me that afternoon have replayed in my mind over and over. The choice seems so much clearer now. I no longer have this giant pit swirling in my stomach, and I have no doubts its the best decision for Emmett.
Harper's elementary school offers a 5-day, all-day program for 4 and 5 years old. Basically, it's a glorified Kindergarten boot camp. Right now our hope is to get him enrolled in that program for next year. He would get to go to school with his big sister in the morning and ride home on the bus with her in the afternoon. We feel this will make the actual transition to Kindergarten much easier too. (If anyone has done 4-Star, I'd love to hear about your experiences!)
Decisions are hard. Parenting is hard. We're just doing our darnedest to make decent choices for our kiddos. So now, I let out a huge sigh of relief that we've finally made our choice. Now I can move on to the next thing to worry about... registration!
Until next time...
The Helleen's
Parenthood is all about making decisions. I mean, the decision making starts right away - when do you want to start trying to have a family? I'm guessing my response to that serious, life-changing conversation was something like, "Oh, I don't care. What are you thinking?"
Throughout my pregnancy with Harper, I was easily overwhelmed with making any decision. The only choice that was a no-brainer for me was finding out the gender. Do you really think I could go 40+ weeks with a tiny human growing inside me without knowing if it was a boy or a girl? The answer is no, I couldn't. When it came to mundane choices, that's where my indecisiveness really shined. Which bottles should I choose? What color should we paint the nursery? What crib would be best? Video monitors or and old-school style? You get the idea. I struggled with all these decisions. The first night we registered at Babies R' Us I left in tears, and nearly nothing on our registry. I just couldn't handle it.
Lets talk the biggest decision of all - the NAME! This felt like the ultimate decision. Choosing a name not only we loved, but a name that would hopefully bring little to no ridicule to their future. This felt like a big, gosh-darn deal. Surprisingly, with both Harper and Emmett this "name game" wasn't too stressful. For each of our pregnancies the name list was short and the process was tear free. (Surprising, I know!) We'd rank our favorites and as soon as we both agreed - badabing, we had our baby name.
Since I've become a Mother, I like to think my decision making has improved. Sure, I still have the occasional meltdown. We all do, right? But for the last couple years I've had this one GIANT decision stewing. Do we send Emmett to Kindergarten as a fresh 5 year old (his birthday is literally days before school starts) or wait another year and send him when he's 6?
We made the conscious decision to send him to preschool last year, just weeks after turning 3. On the first day of school, my brave, sweet 3 year old marched right into the classroom without hesitation. I, on the other hand found myself scanning the other kiddos noticing how much older they seemed than my lil' E. I left preschool drop-off with a pit in my stomach. Was this a good decision? Should he be here? He's so little and clearly the youngest in the class - will he be okay?
I sat at home doubting his readiness for preschool. In a semi-panic state (that I had mustered up myself) I emailed the teachers who we had come to know well when Harper attended school there, asking for their assurance that he was indeed in the right place. I received a sweet reply back, politely telling me that he was a typical 3-year old, was doing great and if there were ever concerns they'd be sure to address it with us.
Within the first month of preschool, we noticed radical changes. He was more social with other kids, his listening skills had drastically improved, he actually had an attention span and was engaging more in conversations - that is, when his big sister actually let him get a word in. As the year went on, he continued to impress us which actually made me question the whole kindergarten thing again, maybe he should go?
I've toggled back and forth with this whole idea more times than I'd like to admit. I've spent what I know is too much time and energy worrying about it, but hey - that's just what I do. It's a conversation I've purposely avoided with other parents, only because their advice seems to confuse me more. It's one of those topics that other parents have strong opinions about. We've heard both sides, "Oh, you have to hold him back." or "Send him, he'll be fine. We did and they did great!"
This Fall Emmett started Pre-K and is doing awesome. Three days a week I can't wait to get home from work to hear his school stories. What he learned, who he played with, what he had for snack and what sort of crafty project he stuffed in his backpack.
I have a tradition of picking up the kiddos after their first day of school, and while E and I gathered his belongings from his cubby - one of his incredible teachers said me, "He's so bright, and has such a great memory!" We sat and chatted for a few minutes and I brought up the decision that has lingered in my mind for the last year... send him next year, or don't? She gave me a sweet smile and asked if I wanted her honest opinion - which I, of course did! She prefaced her response by saying, "Ultimately the decision is up to you and Mitch, you know Emmett best." But what she said next really resonated with me, "I'd wait, and here's why. Think about when he's graduating high school, and you're sending him off to college. You'd be moving him into his dorm when he was still 17. The truth is, if you sent him next year - he'd do great in Kindergarten, but I always tell parents to think long term."
Mitch and I have discussed this topic at length and in my gut of guts I knew we would wait to send him. Those eloquent words his kind, honest, caring teacher said to me that afternoon have replayed in my mind over and over. The choice seems so much clearer now. I no longer have this giant pit swirling in my stomach, and I have no doubts its the best decision for Emmett.
Harper's elementary school offers a 5-day, all-day program for 4 and 5 years old. Basically, it's a glorified Kindergarten boot camp. Right now our hope is to get him enrolled in that program for next year. He would get to go to school with his big sister in the morning and ride home on the bus with her in the afternoon. We feel this will make the actual transition to Kindergarten much easier too. (If anyone has done 4-Star, I'd love to hear about your experiences!)
Decisions are hard. Parenting is hard. We're just doing our darnedest to make decent choices for our kiddos. So now, I let out a huge sigh of relief that we've finally made our choice. Now I can move on to the next thing to worry about... registration!
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Until next time...
The Helleen's
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